What made you stop being an addict?

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

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So I'm still hanging on this lie.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

Should I have left it alone and kept quiet? I came out as gay to my adult kids last week. Age 61 married 15 years, divorced for 20. I feel so guilty for ruining their lives by living a lie.

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

What happens in Sweden if you cannot pay a hospital debt you did not know about until recently but willing to pay when your finances improve?

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

Now how do you quit your addiction?

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

What was your best experience of having your navel touched?

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

Beautiful European women were killed by inquisition but Russia was not Catholic. Is this the reason for a drastic difference explaining why Russian women are the prettiest?

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

Why is the covert narcissist actively avoiding me when they see me everyday?

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

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Read that again ☝️

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

Are narcissists happy people generally?

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

What's wrong with white women?

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

Do any other guys like to eat cum of another man from their wife's pussy?

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

Just keep trying

Why won't biden give a last minute deferred action TO ALL undocumented immigrants so Trump can't deport them? Obama issued DACA, why can't Biden issue something similar that protects ALL undocumented immigrants from deportation?

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

I did it in my administrator's office.

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

This was February 2019.

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

And I can also talk to them now.